The Innocence of Childhood

When we grow up, we lose an important part of ourselves - innocence. That pure, childlike quality is soon lost as we are forced to fend for ourselves in the real world. To children, the world always appears black and white. Things are very simple - good/bad, hot/cold, like/dislike, joy/sorrow all are simply interpreted and experienced. But this process becomes more and more complex as they grow up. There was a line in the movie "Courage under fire" where one of the actors says "Imagine what it would be like to be like kids - never bothering about the consequences of their actions".

As children, many of us are not required to bother about the consequences of our actions. There are always their parents to guide and direct them. And as far as satisfying wants goes, their main source of satisfaction is provided by the parents. Effectively, they structure their interactions in such a way that the parents form their window to the world. Hence all behaviour needs to be concerned with getting the right reactions from them. Later on, they realise the need for social interaction. They find that they need to behave in certain ways with certain people to get their things done.

Soon after they enter adolescence, things become more complex. They have to start thinking about reactions and counter reactions of a lot more people now. At some level, there must be some manipulation of these behaviours in order to achieve their purposes. The sad part is that everyone has to indulge in this sort of activity to continue leading a life (unless the life is one of Sanyasa) - be it the Chief Executive of a large organisation or a farmer struggling to see where his next meal will be coming from. Soon they realise a need to put up a 'front' to others in interpersonal relationships. This leads some to wonder, "What is the purpose in my behaving in the way that I am?""Am I really achieving something worthwhile by doing all this?""How do I define something as being 'worth it'?" and many more fundamental questions.

Most of us spend a lifetime looking (unsuccessfully) for the answers and continue leading a complex life in the midst of innumerable interactions with ourselves, other people and the environment in general. There are instances where we come across incidents/lessons that make us immensely uncomfortable both with ourselves and with others. We try to analyse them within the limited framework of our experience and try to make 'sense'. There nearly always comes a time when we decide to choose to stick to or not stick to a particular path/course of action. What makes us pick one over the other? I'm not really sure, though I believe that upbringing plays an important role in our choice.

As far as I am concerned, I was always taught to be honest and truthful in all my dealings with people. This feeling has entered my blood in such a deep manner that I feel the prick of conscience every time I put up a 'front' while dealing with someone. It makes me really uncomfortable and I feel that nothing can be worth hiding your real feelings. After coming to IIMA, however, I have realised that interpersonal relationships are not always about saying what you feel or think. Impulsiveness has to be controlled and a rational and more mature approach is called for. Actually the transition has been pretty tough and I am not sure that I am fully 'there' yet. But I am trying and will persist as well. Dealing with the "Is it worth the effort?" question is the toughest thing though. I am trying to find reasons that justify this transition - every one seemingly more plausible than the other. Well, I guess the journey will continue till I reach a stage where I am comfortable with the new me...

Rangarajan

Time to get Chaotic...

It is "Chaos" time at IIMA :-). It is a inter collegiate cultural festival with over 50 colleges participating from all over the country. Most importantly, it gives all of us here a welcome relief from the rigour of everyday studies. I thought I would dig up the origin of the word "chaos" from the net. Here goes:

Chaos is from the Greek word Khaos, meaning "gaping void". There are many explanations as to who or what Chaos is, but most theories state that it was the void from which all things developed into a distinctive entity, or in which they existed in a confused and amorphous shape before they were separated into genera. In other words, Chaos is or was "nothingness." Though some ancient writers thought it was the primary source of all things, other writers tell of Gaia (Earth) being born from Chaos without a mate, along with Eros and Tartarus. Then from Gaia came Uranus (Heaven or Sky) which gave us Heaven and Earth.
Chaos has been described as the great void of emptiness within the universe from which Eros came and it was he who gave divine order and also perfected all things. In later times it was written that Chaos was a confused shapeless mass from which the universe was developed into a cosmos, or harmonious order. For instance, Hesiod's Theogony says that Erebus and Black Night (Nyx) were born of Chaos, and Ovid the Roman writer described Chaos as an unordered and formless primordial mass. The first Metomorphoses reads, "rather a crude and indigested mass, a lifeless lump, unfashioned and unframed, of jarring seeds and justly Chaos named."
The Roman writer Ovid gave Chaos its modern meaning; that of an unordered and formless primordial mass.

- an unordered and formless primordial mass - that is a fairly accurate description of the state of mind of the people here during chaos time. This is a platform on which people shed their inhibitions (and "prohibitions" ;-)) and have a whale of a time.

We had a concert by the band "Euphoria" last night. It was great fun to see the audience sway in one mind to the vocal wizardry of the lead singer. The day before we had sterling performances by Aslam Sabri (with his Qawwalis) and Pandit Hariprasad Chaurasia(or so the people say) . Yours truly skipped the Qawwalis bcoz he is as familiar with the nuances of the Hindi Language as a crocodile is with vegetarianism.

Overall, the festival does a lot to bring colour into IIMA, which is otherwise pretty dull and drab on most non academic fronts. Our seniors say that this will be the best time we can have at IIMA. Maybe it is true. I guess I have to find out :-))...

Sitan

Systems

We had an EEP -II class (Economic Environment and Policy) sometime back. Our professor was talking about the phases of colonisation of India and the underlying economics at play. He painted an interesting picture of the situation existing at that time and also explained the underlying economics in various phases of colonisation. That sort of set me thinking. It was fascinating to explore the interactions between various institutions, people and interests.

It also was a lesson in trying to get the "big picture" from the details. It requires an ability to sift through large amounts of detail and discerning patterns, trends and interactions from that detail. It also requires immense concentration, an ability to keep stacking data in the mind as and when it accumulates and an ability to run over that data at regular intervals. Sounds tough?

Well, it is. But as managers, it will be critical to balance and manage the interests of various stakeholders while arriving at a decision. The truly successful managers will be the ones who manage to strike that balance more often than others. Probably the one thing that matters more than everything in that scenario is something that will help us integrate all that information in our mind. It is something that I have written about earlier as well... Common sense- and that too in no mean measure.

The systems approach is what we need to take back from this institute to the workplace. What it really means is that I need to have Clarity of thought (remember my post on Lord Hanuman earlier?) so that I can focus on the problem at hand and arrive at decisions that hopefully strike the right balance between various interests that are often conflicting.

God Save Me!
Sitan

Three Cheers for Ajay Pandey!!!

Our Finance Professor from the second term is back to teach us again... he is THE BEST professor that I have ever had in a finance/ accounts related area. Whatever be the area he teaches, he manages to throw some useful insights and conceptually relate whatever has been taught so far to the current discussion.

Finance was always my favourite subject even at the CA level. Now it has become more so, thanks to the professor. I am not alone in this feeling either. Most of my classmates feel that way... Prof Pandey has a huge fan following (including many members of the fairer sex :-)).

Another thing I realised today was that I waste inordinate amounts of time. Take this blog for instance. What I could probably type out in 5-7 minutes takes me a full 20 minutes because I am not able to organize and put down my thoughts lucidly. It is an immensely painful experience. One may think, 'What is the big deal with 10 minutes ?' . (At least that is what I do :-)). But then it is these small intervals of 5-10 mins each that really eat up your time...It is actually waste your day one minute at a time...How do I discipline myself to cut out the distractions and focus on my work? That is the challenge I set myself now...

Gotta Go
Sitan

Belonging

I have had a whale of a time this holidays. My parents came over and spent time on campus. We did not do too much really. Just sat around and kept talking, laughing and watching movies. It was one of the happiest times of my life. It was the first time they had come to campus and they really loved it. I was happy too... I could share my happiness with them and feel really positive about coming to this place. ( I feel positive about this move otherwise as well, but then there's nothing like sharing your happiness :-))

It was when they left that I really started thinking about how important it is to belong. The feeling that there is someone to care for you and likes you is invaluable. We had this class in IGP(Interpersonal and Group Processes) where we discussed the concept of "strokes". Strokes are stored stimuli which people go over to feel good (or bad) about themselves. I realised that my family gives me the biggest source of positive strokes. They accept me for what I am and are happy for me. That is really a huge source of self confidence and self esteem. This self esteem is reflected in our interactions with other people. Self esteem in turn also helps emotional stability and a maturity in dealing with emotions. The list of positives seems endless.

I consider myself lucky to have such a nice set of people around me- be they friends, relatives or family. It makes me feel good about myself. And this message is for the reader:

Make an effort to reach out and share your feelings with someone you truly care forand who truly cares for you. Be it the kind shoulders of your parents or the gracious arms of your brother or sister (or your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse :-)), you will find that doubles your happiness and halves your sorrows. Well, that seems pretty good arithmetic to me !

A fairly sentimental post this... but then again it gives me a positive "stroke" :-))

Sitan

The Joys of Slumber

Third term has begun here at IIMA. This is supposed to be the toughest term in the first year. And believe me, when they say it is tough, they mean it! We have loads and loads of work this time and hardly any holidays worth the name. Even the public holidays are compensated by classes on saturdays...

I had a whale of a time in the term break. The first thing I did on the exams getting completed was to get as much sleep as possible...Ahhhhhhhh! The joys of slumber! The exquisite sweetness of a refreshing sleep is not matched by too many pleasures in life :-) It was a treat to be able to get up totally refreshed in the morning and read the papers at my own leisure instead of hurrying through my activities like an automaton. But then, too much of sleep too becomes boring after sometime. What is really needed is a nice balance of work and sleep. Sleeplessness for a while is fine (especially if there is some important work to be done). Foregoing sleep is really worthwhile only if you get some overwhelming reward for doing so (and don't mistake me - a feeling of achievement is also a good enough reward; I am not talking about monetary rewards alone - in fact I don't think money is worth losing sleep over )

The thing with sleep is that you tend to crave more of it, the more you get when you have a sleep debt. At that point of time, it does not really refresh you. Quite puzzling in fact. I would have thought it would be good to grab whatever snatches of sleep you could when you are sleep deprived. Doesnt work that way though... Sometimes it makes more sense to keep that sleep debt at bay...

It is a very confusing thing actually. But I guess in a place like IIMA, there has to be some sort of compromising on sleep if you are to get your job done. The balance between the additional work done and the reduction in sleep is the tough thing though ...

Sitan